They Call Me Bruce
by megara21
Summary: The Bruce’s were normally such a good sort, which was why today was so uncommonly odd. One Shot maybe


Disclaimer: TMNT etc are not mine, I make no profit or gain from this except to occupy my otherwise idle mind.

TITLE: They call me Bruce

A/N: Just a very quick one shot from a point of view I haven't read much of in a while. If it doesn't make sense don't worry, I was on alot of sugar at the time.

If one desired to look into the inner working of his mind, one would more than likely see a small staff of hapless pigeons, manning the controls of some elaborate device known only to them and the skeleton crew that worked weekends. The pigeons, all officially known as Bruce, were diligent, hard-working, stolid sorts who always worked through their tea break, kept their In-Box tidy and never, ever once thought to stealing the pens.

The Bruce's were normally such a good sort, which was why today was so uncommonly odd.

Today the pigeons were all a flutter with excited menace. Today it ran through them like a Mexican Wave of Wickedness, they were posed ready to push on that shiny red button that said 'Don't Touch'.

Feathers were fluffed,

beaks were sharpened,

they were all a titter.

The Bruces' were quiet, they took their time and in the brief second between awake and asleep they took their chance, they took control. The day had gone as any other, they kept to routine, no one paid attention if you kept to routine.

"That one." Bruce whispered.

"No. Too noticeable." Bruce replied.

"Plain, we need a plain one." Bruce spoke up, "One that looks like any other."

"That one." Bruce swung their attention to a casual looking woman sitting on a seat further up the bus.

"Ooooh." Cooed Bruce.

"Yes. That one." The Bruces agreed whole-heartedly.

They got off the bus and followed the plain one up the road and towards the park...

"Swing our arms more!" Bruce complained for the third time, "We don't look right."

"We are swinging." Growled Bruce, who for the past eight hours had been doing his best in the co-ordination department.

"Lift our leg more." Grumbled Bruce. There was a sudden drop in equilibrium, "No! the other leg."

"It's not easy you know!" Bruce sulked and continued to concentrate on keeping the head facing forward.

The park was dark, the woman was in no hurry. With a quick glance to make sure no one was around the woman was roughly shoved in the back, a heavy knee placed in her spine and a blade held haphazardly to her throat.

The Bruce's kept silent, it was more dramatic that way. They got to hear her scream.

"Well done Bruce." Said Bruce proudly, "Nicely managed."

"Thank you Bruce." Bruce replied. "Could have done better with the arms though Bruce."

"Look!" Bruce snapped in defence, "I've had absolutely no time to practice this, I have fingers to consider, not to mention those damn elbows, stupid things only bend one way!"

"Calm down Bruce. We'll have plenty of time to practice."

They took a brief minute to consider their next options, there was a general consensus to cover a wider area and after much debate and several rounds of tea and biscuits they agreed to make their way down town.

It was much easier down town. They had found a string of bars, in which the majority of people seemed to have the coordination of Bruce, it was much easier to blend in.

Again they picked a plain one, this one was a little smaller than the last as Bruce had complained how hard it had been to fight against the other woman, especially when the elbows didn't bend properly. This one had fallen easier, intoxicated she didn't scream as much but Bruce decided you couldn't have everything.

"I need a challenge." Said Bruce.

"What did you have in mind?" Asked Bruce.

They shuffled their way towards the subway. Bruce was having a hard time with the knees, he needed to sit down.

The subway was busy, too many to choose from. Bruce was tired of the plain ones and as hard as Bruce tried to err on the side of caution Bruce wouldn't listen.

"Fine. Have it your way." Bruce mumbled.

"That one." Bruce grinned.

They followed the pretty blonde one with the shiny earrings, she knew she was being followed but Bruce kept up. The eyes stung as she sprayed the face but Bruce was determined, she didn't fight for long. Bruce had finally gotten hang on the elbows.

"Can I keep them?" Bruce asked of the shiny earrings.

"No." Bruce barked, "We said no souvenirs. Put them back."

"Lets do another." Bruce called enthusiastically.

"Not tonight." Bruce stated, "Enough for tonight."

"It may get suspicious." Bruce added.

"But I just got the hang of the elbows!" Bruce whined.

They got back on the subway and headed East, Bruce was in the mood for Chinese and after a quick stop at Mr Hu's Chinese Takeout, made their way toward their quiet little neighbourhood.

"I don't like it." Bruce said after walking around for an hour, "The shadows move."

"Don't be stupid." Bruce growled, "You're imagining things."

"No Bruce is right." Bruce agreed, "Something's following us."

"It's just your mind playing tricks." Bruce said.

"I thought we were the mind?" Bruce whispered quietly to Bruce.

Raphael watched with mild amusement as the stranger lobbed his way along the back alley. He seemed fine, there was no blood trail and no one chasing after his scrawny little hide but there was an odd twitch to his features, and as soon as Raph had seen him, there was something that sat uncomfortably at the back of his mind that had enticed him to follow the stranger for the past hour.

He walked like he was rehearsing for a bad Zombie movie, a lurch here, a shuffle there, he barely moved his arms. But for all the restrictions of his torso, his face made up for it. It was like every muscle from his chin to his forehead was wired. One eye blinked twice as fast as the other, his eyebrows danced uncontrollably and his lips continually moved in a rapid, frantic way that led Raph to the impression something wasn't fully right up stairs.

He continued to watch as the awkward man hobbled himself up the stairs to a neatly painted front door and after alot of swearing and uncoordinated fumbling let himself in.

Drunk. Raphael finally decided. But there was one little niggling thought that just wouldn't let go and as he made his way home he decided it may just be worth his while to come back tomorrow night.


End file.
